Never Meant to Lie
by wrongxrealm
Summary: Ryan has a secret and Charon just found out. Will this change things for them? FtM Lone Wanderer x Charon. This is just a short I came up with while thinking about trans issues and love. Just a little fluff. This is my first ever post on this site so be nice please! Reviews and critiques are appreciated. Thank you.


This is my first ever post on here, hope everything works out, I'm super nervous hehe, anyway, Charon belongs to Bethesda, please rate and review, and I thank anyone who takes time out to read my story! Thank you.

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Soft lips touched rough ones, Ryan's hands were planted on Charon's chest. Charon pushed into his touch. Ryan was quiet, reserved as always but there was something else. Charon could feel it, as though something about the situation was bothering him. He pulled away. They both breathed for a moment. Ryan looked away looking lost in thought, but his hands stayed on Charon's chest feeling the muscles, feeling his heart beating beneath his ruined skin.

The tall ghoul was perplexed, but he wanted to continue. He knew they both wanted to. Charon leaned in, his hands coming up the younger man's sides. Ryan jumped and pulled away, but too late. Charon stared at him his hands still in the air where the boy had been sitting. Ryan's eyes were wide, scared. He stuttered but said nothing.

Charon didn't know what to say, "What. Were," He didn't know how to phrase the question. He felt lied to, taken advantage of, even though he knew he didn't have the right to feel that way about his contract holder. "You're, a female." He said it more of a statement than a question, as if it were a foreign concept. The kid he had gotten to known for so long, that he had gradually been swept away by, had been keeping a secret like this?

Ryan's eyes reddened, his brows furrowed as he fought to speak, "Please don't hate me." He took a step away from the couch and hugged his shoulders as though he was exposed.

Charon was almost as surprised by his (or was it her?), words. Ryan avoided looking at the man, he was visibly shaking. Charon had never seen his contract holder this upset.

"I can explain everything," Ryan said, squeezing his arms, "Please, I never tried to deceive you, I-I mean, I never wanted to." He put out his hand franticly trying to explain his point. His eyes darting from the floor to Charon, to the couch and back.

Charon sat there. Wanting to know, before he could act. Not knowing how he should act anyway.

"I've never felt like a girl," He almost yelled, his voice cracking, "Even back in the vault, I only hung out with the guys, I wore the guys' uniform. My bb gun was the best present I ever got." He looked deeply at Charon. "I was so depressed growing up, and one day I was going through the library archives and I found the answer." His thoughts seemed a bit disjointed, but he wanted to get them out quickly. "I started finding people who felt like I did, people who hated their bodies. But I also found out that people like me were always attacked or hated because of it." He had to look away, "Some were even killed because of it. I was so afraid. I never even told my Dad." Ryan looked down when he said that, seeming more depressed, but then he looked back up and had and empty half-grin, "After I left the vault, it was a chance to start anew, to be who, I really am. No one ever noticed and I guess I just got so caught up in everything and everyday I would wish to wake up 'right' that I would somehow be how I felt I should, and that I would be what people thought I was. I never, I never though that I would," He paused his face reddening, as he glanced at Charon, "I never thought I would fall in love."

Charon was taken aback, not only because of the explanation, but because he was loved. He couldn't remember a time where he even thought about love, romantic or otherwise being anywhere in his life. His thoughts were conflicted, he looked at the ground in thought.

Ryan made a quiet sound. Something between shuffling and sniffling. Charon looked up and saw the smooth-skin with his head down, squeezing his arms again, tears flowing freely down his cheeks. He was still shaking if not more then.

"I'm so sorry," He said trying not to sob or let his tears be heard. He grit his teeth together, "I-I understand if you hate me." This seemed to increase the tears, and he furrowed his brow more as though he was angry about them, "But, I, really do like you." The boy turned on his heel putting his back to Charon and muttered under his breath something about crying like a girl.

Charon's eyes widened a bit then he stood. He understood now why the boy had always shied away from his touch, always insisted on taking care of his own wounds. He too had heard of people 'born in the wrong body' but he had never thought about it before.

He took a step towards Ryan, who startled at the movement but stayed where he was. It was as though he was waiting for Charon to hit him, or just walk out. But instead Charon gently put his arms around the smaller figure, hugging his shoulders. This was still the same kid, the same kid who would jump in front of a bullet to save him, the same kid who had been trying his best to find a way to destroy Charon's contract and set him free.

"I could never hate you." He finally said, hugging the weeping figure to his chest, "We've been through so much together, this doesn't change that."

Ryan's shaking lessened when Charon put his arms around him, his heart skipped a beat at the contact, even more so because he was expecting abuse. But the words had him even more surprised. His legs shook and in response Charon hugged tighter, supporting him. "Ch-Charon," He stuttered in disbelief and choked back a sob, "Th-thank you. Thank you." He put his hands on Charon's arms.

They stood like that for a little while. Ryan letting relief flow from his eyes, Charon holding him, feeling the soft shudders from his body as warm tears fell on his forearms. He was still confused, maybe even a little hurt, but nothing had changed, they were still friends, hell he might even feel more than that for the kid. Maybe more than that even.

Eventually fatigue wore on Ryan and he patted Charon's arm, too tired to talk, too afraid to let his voice quiver, to tell him they needed to move. Charon reluctantly let go, his hands lingering on the kid's shoulders as if to reassure him.

Ryan cleared his throat and wiped his face with his sleeve, "I can, sleep on the couch if-"

Charon huffed and grabbed Ryan around the waist, hoisting the kid onto his shoulder without a word.

"Charon! What are you?" Ryan's voice was small and left the question hang as Charon started up the stairs with him. His heart thumped crazily in his chest and his face flushed again, thoughts running through his head, good and bad.

Charon plopped him onto the bed and hovered over him. Ryan froze unsure but hoping for the best. Their faces were mere inches away from each other and they looked into each others eyes for a moment. Then Charon leaned in and brushed his lips against Ryan's lingering for just a couple seconds. Ryan flushed deeply as Charon pulled away then laid down next to him on the bed.

Both of them were exhausted but Ryan fought sleep off for a few moments, thinking. 'Charon said he couldn't hate me,' his heart fluttered again, 'and then he kissed me. Maybe we can still be together.' He smiled into the darkness of the room. "Charon?" He asked quietly.

The tall ghoul grumbled in response.

"Thank you." Ryan whispered slowly falling to sleep.

Charon breathed a nearly incomprehensible chuckle and rolled over putting his arm over Ryan's waist. "We should get some rest tonight."

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Hope it was good, thank you for reading! Please tell me if there are any mistakes.


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